Top 10 Dating Red Flags - Alpha Male Nation
We spend our lives searching for various feelings, activities, places, achievements. Romantic relationships are among the most wished for. No wonder why. It is a nearly universal desire. Just as we feed our body, so we should feed our soul and shared moments are the most special. Now, some of us are lucky enough to meet that desired person quite early and live a happy relationship. Some of us must dig quite deep before finally finding the ideal partner or soulmate. You might have lived that yourself. You’ve met apparently perfect people just to find out a couple of months later that things were not the way they wanted you to believe they were. Rest assured that you’re not the only one.
There are some things you could pay more attention to from now on before getting too emotionally involved in a relationship. They’re called red flags and the most popular ones are to be mentioned below.
You’re the only one to work for this relationship.
A relationship involves both sides. Never forget that. It’s about give and take. If you feel like you’re the only one to give and he/she the only one to receive, then you might reconsider things between you two. If your partner expects you to do all the date planning, shows no interest in coming up with ideas for your spare-time fun, or goes for some other similar lack of investment, you might want to distance yourself a bit, think better and set the record straight. A relationship is about doing things together. The keyword here is together. Keep that in mind.
Your partner cares a wee bit too much about his/her privacy
Ok, we all need a private space, that piece we share with no one else except us. It’s absolutely normal and it’s healthy. You need your own space in order to develop certain parts of your vision and ideas, to contour your identity, your desires, etc. Well, when your partner only wants space for himself/herself and resumes your conversations only to superfluous and mundane things, a question mark arises. Today’s technology helps people stay in touch 24h/day. Many things are thus said from “I’m having lunch” to I want to build a family. That is, mundane things but also words about serious motivations, feelings, visions.
If your partner doesn’t talk much about his/her background, friends, family, life plans and wishes, or he/she can’t figure out what went wrong in the previous relationship or what he/she wants in a relationship, don’t be afraid to ask him/her about common goals and relationship related issues. Don’t feel like you are too inquisitive. Give him/her the time to settle his/her ideas into shape but don’t wait for too long if a long-term relationship is what you have in mind.
I think many of us agree that communication is the key in a relationship. If you find yourself quite often swimming in silence, getting no answer to the questions you ask or you’re treated with passive aggressive statements or even threats, that’s when you need to take the pulse of your relationship. Try to build a bridge between you to and get him/her to communicate with you. If you have no results and your partner shows no desire to change, that’s where the game ends.
They are always right, you are always wrong.
There’s always something each of us has yet to learn. And most of the time when disagreements and arguing occur, the truth is somewhere in the middle. You might be attracted to a bad boy (if you’re a woman) or to a strong bossy woman if you’re a man but if that bossiness leads to you being treated like an inferior individual, like a pupil, and he/she is the one to know everything, all the time, you might want to step aside. The two partners should be equals and should treat one another as such. You don’t want a partner who discourages your ideas, exciting work plans, hobbies, etc.
We all know about the importance of humor in life in general. Treat life with a smile or laughter and you will receive that in return sooner or later. Yet, when your partner’s humor includes slight insults or hints about things he/she wanted you to change, you should prick up your ears and see what’s really behind those jokes.
You can’t be yourself
Now this one might be the most obvious red flag. If you feel like your words, behavior, preferences, hair, clothing, your way of being make him/her feel uncomfortable or embarrassed, you might be having an issue. A big issue. Ok, we all learn not to do certain things that our partner dislikes, for instance, listening to loud music when the other one is studying or focusing on some project. This is about common-sense but when you feel like they have difficulties in accepting you the way you are, it’s time to go. You want a person to love you with your flaws and qualities and you’re not an actor/actress looking for a role.
Your partner’s future plans say…nothing about you.
Just like the previous red flag, this one is more than obvious. Each of us has private plans, like work or professional plans that exclude the other one but when they talk about what they will do, where they will go without including you anywhere, you should voice your thoughts and ask those questions you have in mind about your role and position in their life.
They are very late with text replies and calls back.
In the first few months, when you don’t live together, texting will be probably the main way to keep in touch, except for phone calls and dating. If your new date is very prompt when it comes to sexting but shows no sign when you change the topic and go for some deeper talk, replies a few days later with some lame excuse, then it’s crystal clear. No long-term relationship thoughts there.
Apologies are a stranger to your partner.
We all make mistakes. The important thing is to learn the lesson that comes with them. If your partner has difficulties in apologizing when the situation requires it, it means you’ve got some fat ego there to deal with. Apologizing means to leave your ego aside, acknowledge your partner’s feelings and validate them. It is part of respecting the other one. If apologies are not part of your relationship, you might think twice before going on with this date.
Your partner shows no or little respect.
Besides communication, respect weighs a lot in a relationship and you can see it in the smallest things like opening the door for you if he’s a man and in the big things like listening to your ideas and wishes. There are many signs of disrespect you can notice. The important thing is to notice them. When you truly love a person or have serious intentions, you want the best for that person and treat him/her accordingly. If respect is an absence, you can bid them farewell goodbye.