What to do when her friends drive you nuts - Alpha Male Nation
You simply adore your girlfriend, but you just can’t stand those bratty friends of hers? Subtly win their trust and leave the confrontations for real enemies!
Sometimes you wonder what can your girlfriend possibly see in those super-annoying friends of her? Well… let’s see: dresses to borrow, advice to ask, opinions to discuss, lots of chuckles (sometimes for no particular reason, but this is absolutely normal), cell phones turned on at any time, day or night, always ready for the daily session of incessable talks about the beautician’s stupid mistake with hot wax, or about… your childish stubbornness about going on vacation by car.
Most certainly I’ve omitted a few other lists of things they have in common. I wont’ argue with this: you hold a special place in her heart, but if you make enemies among her friends, it’s like signing your own conviction to death… or, on a less dramatic note, like throwing your relationship with her out the window.
So, here’s how you tame… the shrews.
… with yourself! Are they really an impossible and disgusting “band of characters”? Then why they get along so well with your girlfriend?
Try to put aside any resentment and admit that you actually don’t have any quarrels with them. Additionally, do everything in your power to get closer to them and don’t show them you are annoyed by their personalities.
In a study about happiness and how to pursue it, which afterwards was developed into a book, author Gretchen Rubin discusses a method to become friends with insufferable people, called trait transfer: what you think and what you say to other people influences the way others perceive you.
Stop looking at your girlfriend’s friends like they are some annoying brats, and think about them like they are the most cheerful and charismatic girls in the whole world.
Break the ice
OK, it’s true: there are some people that you just can’t get along with. But you shouldn’t resign to this at once. First, try to make friends with “the bad girls”.
Prof. Cindy Adams, PhD, from Calgary University in Canada, recommends that in situations of poor communication, you should never blame the person you’re in conflict with.
Instead, use approaches such as: “It makes me feel awkward when you act this way”. By putting the cards on the table, and showing them that you are not quite comfortable in their company (even if you’re convinced the situation is unbearable), give them a chance to become aware of their own attitude.
Maybe you were not actually that sensitive, and they really were a nuisance..