Dating Advice For Shy Guys - Alpha Male Nation
Finding a date partner is the driving force behind so many things we do. Reaching another human being, finding common interests and things to do play an important role and occupy a superior place in our day-to-day life. If for some of us, dating comes with little or even no anxiety, for some people, seeing a man/woman is very much of a challenge when that one person is all wrapped up in shyness. Being shy might be cute when you’re kid. Even when you’re a grown-up but when you’re an adult looking for a date…well, things get a wee bit complicated. Let us “uncomplicate” them with a few simple steps.
Before talking about how to start a conversation and what to say when you’re face to face with your date, you need to find one, right? Thanks to the constantly evolving technology, you can now date a woman from the very comfort of your home. Online dating is a great way for shy people to find a partner. The monitor acts as a sort of a shield. Written words actually work as a great way of finding a date and having that first conversation.
Now, choose one dating website, create your profile, don’t brag too much but be realistic and honest when it comes to your qualities. In order to find a match, you need to be true about yourself. After you’ve picked the right site and created a detailed profile, you can start browsing.
Don’t get discouraged if you don’t get replies. Online dating is like a game and there are so many reasons why someone doesn’t reply. Don’t think it’s something wrong with you if you didn’t get an answer. Not receiving a reply happens to everyone. When you do get a reply, try to see what worked and stick to that approach.
Common interests and groups
In order to find someone with whom conversation comes with no bumps, you need to find common interests. If you like gaming or writing for instance, a person who has the same inclination towards spare-time activities will understand you better and you will find lots of things to talk about. The best way to find people who share the same interests is to join clubs or groups. Keep in mind that it’s very important to join groups that share your interests.
If you pick a group thinking there will be many women there, there are many chances that you will end up having little conversation. When you’re in a group of people who enjoy doing the things they do, it is easier to start a conversation. Since it’s one of your favorite activities the one you’re talking about, you’ll be so focused on that particular topic that you will forget you’re talking to a woman.
First date – what to do
So here she is. You’ve found a woman to go on a date with (whether it was with the help of a friend or some dating website) and you’re now stuck on what your first date will be like, what to say and what to do. Well, the “what to do” is the key part here. Going to the movies is not a great idea since there will be not too much talk. Many guys prefer going for dinner. Well, if you’re a shy guy and you get nervous when it comes to topics to tackle when dating a woman, this one option should be out of the question for a first date.
Instead, find a common activity. It’s just what we’ve said earlier. Find that one thing that you enjoy doing and she is interested in too and the date will go smoothly. When you’re focused on something you like doing, inhibitions disappear. And when you become aware of that, the dating is already going great, there’s a connection between you two and you are more confident.
Don’t judge yourself
Shy people focus very much on the way they say and do things. “Was it ok?”, “ I shouldn’t have said that!” and so on. Judging yourself will only make things worse. When you find yourself thinking about yourself and the way you said and did things and you’re on a date, give those thoughts a break and focus on her. This should remind you that you want to know her better and she might have not even noticed that one thing that seemed awkward to you.
Be true to yourself and to her
There’s nothing like honesty. That’s for sure. Even if it might come with less pleasant things at times, honesty is one of the key elements in building a relationship. So, be honest about your shyness. It doesn’t have to be the first thing you say to her but make sure you work that into your story.
Knowing that you are shy will help her understand why you were a bit awkward when you first met or why you stumbled on your words. You will see that she will feel even more comfortable and so will you.
Be attentive and show interest
Don’t forget that this date is not only about what you say and do and the way you do it. You’re dating a woman. She’s there. Don’t get stuck on yourself. Pay attention to what she says and show interest. Don’t forget about being polite and hold the door for her for instance. Look her in the eyes, face her, and ask her more about the things she likes.
If things went well and you had a good time with her, let her know about that. Women like guys who take charge and the initiative for a second date. So, tell her you’ve spent a nice couple of hours with her and you’d like a second date. If she’s fine with that and the fun was on her side as well, let her know you will call her. And do that. Many guys say they will call and then they don’t. If you didn’t feel very wow about the date, don’t mention anything about a second date.
Remember who you are and the fact that being shy is not a bad thing. It’s just the way some of us are. It doesn’t make us superior or inferior. It might be a bit difficult when trying to meet people but in the end you will succeed in doing that whether you’re a shy or not. Accept who you are and things will get so much easier.