7 Ways to Lose Your Girlfriend - Alpha Male Nation
As we all know, being in a relationship with somebody can be a source of great love and joy, as well as the occasional fight and disagreement. Nevertheless, as time goes on and you become more and more comfortable with each other, the risk of becoming maybe too familiar and even disinterested in your dynamic completely transforms into a real threat, especially concerning males and their view on this type of partnership. So…is the rumor true? Are there really such things as 7 ways to lose your girlfriend?
Unfortunately, yes. What committed people often fail to realize is that a stable relationship is not an excuse to forget about your partner completely and take him/ her for granted. When it comes to men, in particular, they most likely than not consider the part of ‘conquering’ a girlfriend and settling down into a routine as the heavy lifting of a relationship. The natural result of this is that they gradually stop putting effort into it, which is no wonder why they are sometimes shocked at the news of their partner wanting either to take a break or split up completely. Consequently, here are some rules you might want to definitely break in order to maintain a healthy and long-lasting relationship:
- Stop treating her as a person
If you are used to seeing women as only their physical appearance or how available they are for sex, then you might want to reconsider your approach before even looking for a serious girlfriend. Believe it or not (sarcasm included!), women are complex individuals, who want to be regarded as more than their body or flirting techniques. Hence, you should really get to know her in depth before becoming more involved with each other (for instance, let her talk about her dreams and aspirations, plans for the future, whether she dreams about marriage and children, etc.).
Even so, one of the major traps of steady partnerships is that individuals eventually fall into a routine and ‘depersonalize’ one another. How so, you ask? It’s pretty simple: by believing that the other will always be by your side – regardless of your behaviour – you start ‘slacking’, that is doing such things as not being romantic anymore, showing her minimal affection only when it comes to intimacy, arguing without thinking about the consequences, even becoming selfish and putting your needs far beyond those of your girlfriend. These and many other ‘sins’ will eventually accumulate and make her realize you only regard her as an object, not a human being, which, of course, might lead to a rupture in your connection.
- Forget about the little things
Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you would do anything to hold her hand, tell her how beautiful she is, and kiss her every chance you got? While it is normal for the ‘puppy love’ phase to settle down into a more serious and mature link after some time, it does not mean you should stop acknowledging these tiny, yet highly important gestures completely.
Thus, it is important to demonstrate that you are still fully engaged in your partnership, no matter whether you have been together for 10 months or 10 years now. Firstly, show her your interest when you are alone by touching her gently, looking into her eyes, and complimenting her on even the smallest of things. Secondly, while public displays of affection might seem a bit uncomfortable to some, grabbing her by the hand or waist and whispering nice things into her ear will show her that not only are you committed and proud of your relationship, but you are also not afraid to show this to others.
By constantly making your girlfriend feel loved and cared for, you are putting the long-lasting foundation of a strong and beautiful bond. In the end, you can’t show passion only when having sex and expect her to respond accordingly because this will only make her feel like an object in your eyes and progressively turn her love for you into either disgust or maybe even erase it completely.
- Don’t compliment her
While most women admit to seeing right through compliments and regarding them as shallow for most of the time, it cannot be denied that telling her she is beautiful and sexy will most definitely constitute a powerful ego boost and, thus, make her more attracted to you. Thereby, failing to do so once your relationship has taken a steady form can only bring negative consequences in the long run.
This happens because, again, committed individuals become too used to each other and don’t put that much effort into maintaining the initial passion between them alive. For example, men ‘forget’ to notice the small things – such as a new hair colour and a flattering dress – or, even worse, start comparing their girlfriend to other women (from co-workers to female celebrities and actresses). This not only leads to false expectations from their partner, but also dissensions and the feeling that she is not enough for her boyfriend, which can produce serious psychological damage.
Let’s face it: subconsciously, everybody wants to be told they are important and desired, even though they might not admit it out loud. Don’t be discouraged if she brushes you off when you notice her smile or eyes, maybe even other traits such as her kindness or the way in which she treats other people. In fact, this small gesture has a double advantage: while encouraging her, you are also more likely to be reminded yourself of the wonderful person that she is, hence determining a better and stronger relationship between the two of you.
- Be open to other options
If your mind and/ or eyes start wondering, then you might want to reconsider your relationship and, most importantly, how you approach it. While it’s true that most of us sometimes fantasize about being with other people, the problem becomes worrying when this fantasy starts taking over your real life and, as a result, changes the way in which you regard your girlfriend.
The other damaging thing you could do as a man is start acting on these cheating impulses behind her back and then keeping it a secret. It’s true that there’s a huge difference between flirting with somebody once in a while and actually sleeping with them while you are still in a serious relationship, but that doesn’t mean you can make a habit out of it either. Whether you are seeking some sort of ‘thrill’, more adventurous sex or are simply afraid of committing for the long run, cheating is and will remain what it has always been – cheating.
Not only will this permanently impact your partnership – maybe even destroy it completely – but it will also highly affect her self-esteem and self-confidence. So be a bigger person and talk to your girlfriend about your changed or mixed feelings before acting out on them. Regardless of her reaction, it is far better to have an honest discussion than to inflict that kind of emotional pain onto her.
- Stop being interesting
It’s probably safe to say that, at the beginning, your girlfriend fell in love with something about yourself she couldn’t find in another man. From your body to your mind and personality or a lucky combination of them all, you encompassed for her the ideal partner to make her stop wanting to look at other individuals in a romantic fashion. So why cease being this person after a while into your relationship?
While we could blame routine and our ever-increasingly busy lifestyles all we want, the fact of the matter is that men sometimes ‘give up’ on trying to at least appear interesting and adventurous for their partner. Moreover, serious scientific research has reached the conclusion that women need a strong, confident, yet caring man in order to feel protected and invested into a relationship. This type of heroism doesn’t have to be a loud display of power, but rather the constant reassurance that you are there for her and her needs.
Thereby, if you significantly lack this drive, then don’t feel the least bit surprised when she leaves you for a more ‘manlier’ man than you, since you obviously failed at keeping her involved and desiring of your persona.
- Fall into a relationship rut
As stated before, this is one of the biggest problems a couple has to face on a constant basis. Falling into this trap can be very easy, especially when you have moved in together or have been committed to each other for more than a couple of years. Unfortunately, men are more likely to worsen this rupture because they usually don’t pick up on the subtle changes in emotions and attitude of their partner. Forthermore, if you are the sort to trivialize these issues and regard them as ‘crazy woman talk’, then you are portraying yourself as being both immature and incapable of handling a real connection between real individuals.
Hence, take the word of relationship specialists and remember that communication is paramount. Leave your exhaustion, stress, and pride aside to listen to your girlfriend about what she has to say regarding your relationship. Try to analyze her complaints and change what you can in order to improve your connection – if you still want to be in a relationship, that is. To really make things better, spice up your partnership by doing exciting things such as going on an unexpected date in the middle of the week, planning an exotic vacation at the end of the year or simply surprising her by doing something sweet and out of the ordinary (for instance, buy her flowers for no reason at all, bring her breakfast in bed, etc.).
- Don’t strive to become better
Most men think that, once they are in an established relationship, they can ‘let go’ of their physical appearance and even let their morals gain one or two bad habits. Needless to say, your significant other will not appreciate this negligence and start wondering what she saw in you in the first place.
Again, aside from wrongly taking her for granted, you are setting yourself up for failure both in your relationship and for yourself as a person. Being determined and willing to succeed are extremely valuable traits in a man, assets which women appreciate and also highly desire from their partner. This is why you might want to reconsider your outlook on life if you want to maintain your girlfriend interested.
Changing your bad habits, apologizing when you are wrong, being more dedicated to your significant other, and becoming more emotionally linked to her are just a few steps towards becoming better not only as a boyfriend, but also as a person in general. By taking care of your body, mind, and general plans in life, you are showing concern both towards yourself and your partner, hence demonstrating you can be a reliable and serious person.
There you have it! These are just 7 of the ways in which you could screw up a good relationship, which is why you will want to avoid ‘obeying’ these rules at all costs. Of course, there are other ways in which men could offend or disregard their partners, but these also depend on the individual and the girlfriend’s attitude alike. Even so, the key to bypassing all of these uncomfortable and distressing situations is to never see your partner as any less than she is, namely a complex, interesting individual, worthy of all your attention and dedication.
By always remembering that you chose to share your current life and intimacy with her, you will also keep in mind that she deserves your respect and attention in order to stick by your side in the future as well. So don’t just cherish and love her for yourself – let her know and feel these things in advance. Who knows: if you lose the attitude before you lose your girlfriend, then you might not end up missing out on a lot of wonderful things in life with her!